If It Wasn't For Tilt, I Would Win Every One

Well, here is the recurring theme this year: I play well, build up my bankroll, and then proceed to tilt it off. Yup, I lost 66% of my bankroll in 24 hours last Monday. That wasn't fun at all. To be fair, I did get some really bad beats the just generated futher tilt (Set busted by rivered quads, flopped straight beaten by runner runner higher straight) and instead of calling it a day, I proceed to play even more. There were also 3 phases that I went through: Ouch, Crap, and Shit. Ouch was when I had a big enough downswing to that should have said "Take a break", but wasn't the end of the world. Crap was a smaller downswing where I should've just said "Ok, that's enough man!." Shit was where I really hurt myself and decimated my bankroll. YOu think I could've just gone through phase 1 and avoided the other 2, but that's why I am not a great poker player. It really has become my biggest leak and hopefully I can plug it before I go busto.

On the bright side, I am rebuilding now and while it will probably take me a while to get back to where I was, where I am now is not the worst place to be. I have a nice bankroll for 15/30 still and I am going to grind it out. I am hurting, but not done, not by a long shot. It's a good thing that overall I have good bankroll management because my leak would have really fucked me over, instead of just crippling me.

So there I am, set back roughly 2 months. However, I have been able to pay off most of my big bills and I did get that laptop, so overall I am better off than I was. It is just frustrating to have all of my hard work and good luck go down the tubes so quickly.

Sorry that it took so long for me to post this, but I was fairly embarassed and disapointed in myself. This is my journal, however, I need to be honest with both myself and my friends.