Poker and Life

Well, I've reach the 6th month mark of me supporting myself through poker. And I've come to the following conclusion: I don't want to do this for the rest of the life. Not that I am going to stop playing poker, but I don't want it to be the only thing in my life. I am sure that Barry Greenstein has two major regrets in his life: Not getting his PhD and not always being there for his children. I don't want to be that guy. I want to have a fulfilling life and as much as I love poker, I am going to accomplish other things.

I am determined to finish my schooling and go to law school.

I am going to be a published writer. It might be novel, screenplay, or graphic novel (I have an artist I am working with).

I am going to be a good father, husband, son, and brother.

I'm hungry for life and this pit stop is about over.

Rebuilding

Hey Everyone. Thought I dropped off the face of the Earth, huh? Nope still here. I've been spending the last few weeks with my family. It's a big transition period for us. My brother just graduated high school, my sister and my mom are moving and my dad is getting shipped overseas. So a lot of changes.

I am in my heavy rebuilding phase right now. I have dropped down limits considerably just to fine tune my game and work on my leaks before I really jump back in. Trying to work on protecting myself from going broke. I am also really focusing on my tournament game. I want to be one of the best players out there so I am going to play almost every tournament I can, no matter how little the buyin is.

2 days ago, I went to this Indian Casino in Tuscon, AZ and checked out their poker room. I believe it was called Casino Del Sol. It was very nice. I signed up for the interest list for a 30/60 Mix and a 4-40 spread game. Since they don't (or can't) spread a NL game, the 4-40 was the best I was going to get. I ended up playing 3/6 while waiting. Man that was a crazy table. I took down 2 $100+ pots in a row and missed out of $50 when my Aces where cracked and I didn't know the cardroom gave $50 for that.

Once I got fed to the 4-40 table, I ended up having a great time. I had some tough hands cracked, but I was playing great and made some great reads to get max value out of my hand. But this hand is frustrating because I didn't trust my reads:

I pick up QQ UTG and I make a raise to $16. This table had been playing fairly tight and this was the kind of raise that would probably get my either heads up or in a 3 way pot. I was wrong. 3 people called and then the BB raised 40 more. I almost, ALMOST just tossed them right there. My instincts were screaming fold. Of course my stupid brain goes "You can't fold QQ" so I call.

Flop is KJx. I KNOW I'm beat. He checks and I quickly check behind him. Rag turn and he bets 20 into a 100ish pot. Instead of correctly folding I min-raise him, hoping for a cheap showdown. Of course he reraises me and I toss my hand away. He later told me he had KK and I had no reason to doubt him. That was a poorly played hand and at the very least I should have folded after that flop.

Overall, I was very hapy with my session and thought that I made some very good decisions. It's nice to get my confidence back.

If It Wasn't For Tilt, I Would Win Every One

Well, here is the recurring theme this year: I play well, build up my bankroll, and then proceed to tilt it off. Yup, I lost 66% of my bankroll in 24 hours last Monday. That wasn't fun at all. To be fair, I did get some really bad beats the just generated futher tilt (Set busted by rivered quads, flopped straight beaten by runner runner higher straight) and instead of calling it a day, I proceed to play even more. There were also 3 phases that I went through: Ouch, Crap, and Shit. Ouch was when I had a big enough downswing to that should have said "Take a break", but wasn't the end of the world. Crap was a smaller downswing where I should've just said "Ok, that's enough man!." Shit was where I really hurt myself and decimated my bankroll. YOu think I could've just gone through phase 1 and avoided the other 2, but that's why I am not a great poker player. It really has become my biggest leak and hopefully I can plug it before I go busto.

On the bright side, I am rebuilding now and while it will probably take me a while to get back to where I was, where I am now is not the worst place to be. I have a nice bankroll for 15/30 still and I am going to grind it out. I am hurting, but not done, not by a long shot. It's a good thing that overall I have good bankroll management because my leak would have really fucked me over, instead of just crippling me.

So there I am, set back roughly 2 months. However, I have been able to pay off most of my big bills and I did get that laptop, so overall I am better off than I was. It is just frustrating to have all of my hard work and good luck go down the tubes so quickly.

Sorry that it took so long for me to post this, but I was fairly embarassed and disapointed in myself. This is my journal, however, I need to be honest with both myself and my friends.

Rough Day For Tournament Poker

So I played in 3 tournies today, a Pokertips one, the Poker Stars Million, and the $200 HORSE at Full Tilt. I destroy the Pokertips one except at the end where I bubble after going from having half of the remaining chips to busto in 5 hands. Set over Set, lose a race, and a 2 outer all hurt.

The Poker Stars Million was going well until in the 3rd hour with my chip stack right where I want it to be and the bubble approaching, I donk of my chips with 58o. God I feel so stupid because of that. Here's how the hand goes:

Me on the button: Ok, I'll steal this (raise)
BB: Reraise
Me: Well, I've committed less than 10% of my stack here, but he is probably making a move on me, Reraise!
BB: All-in
Me: Well, I am getting 5-1 here, I guess I have to call.
BB: JJ!

Sigh...

Then on HORSE Tournament, I ran stupidly card dead for the stretch leading up the bubble and I made a questionable fold when I had KQo in the SB during Holdem at the 1000/2000 level with 3300 left and I fold to a midposition raiser. Normally I would reraise here, but a Super Short Stack was about to go out and I figured it wasn't worth it. I monied (which I am happy with. It's nice to cash in a HORSE tournament), but the hand I went bust with was me getting a flush and then villain getting the higher flush.

God were there some idiots in that tournament. I wish they spread HORSE cash games because I feel I would tear them up. I almost wanted to shout "You are all IDIOTS!", but my rule against tapping the fishtank prevented me from doing so.

I think what I am most dissapointed with is my finishes. I thought I played great poker all day and it hurts to play perfectly (except for the 58o hand) and bust out. On the bright side, I was playing very well overall and I am proud of that. Guess I can't ask for more.

Happy Mother's Day

Here it is Mom. My official declaration of a Happy Mother's Day to you. That's it. No card, no chocolates, nothing. Nothing for all of the love and care you've given me in my life and loving support you continual give me, even though I've made some big mistakes in my life. I have decided to give nothing, but a customary salutations today.

Tuesday, on the other hand, will be different. (For those just joining in, I am flying home on Tuesday and taking her out to a VERY nice dinner. I just wanted to play up the 1st paragraph).

I have the best and worst mother in the world. A Jewish Mom. She insists on calling me five times a day just because she can. She will stick her nose in my business though I ask her not to. She is naggy and very annoying. And I love her. She has helped me become a thoughtful and caring person. So thanks Mom!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the poker side, it has been a slowish weekend. I am pretty much break even for the last couple days. Some of that may be due to the fact that I cut down on my poker a bit, but I think it is that I feel unmotivated to play the cash games. Now that I am financially secure, I just don't feel the pressure. I think that I am going to take a couple of days off and just play a few tournaments or just do other things.

I think that one reason is that I have pretty much leveled off as far as bankroll growth and limits. Earlier this year it was exciting to run through the limits, starting at 3/6 and getting to 30/60 and going from 1/2 NL to 10/20. Now that I've hit my bankroll goal, I really can't move up any so that excitement is gone. I think the new thing (and I've been saying this all year) is to work on my tournament game. Even though I have been saying I am going to play this event or that, I will play a WSOP event this summer and I want to be ready.

I think the best way to describe my state of being right now is "content", which is not a good thing. When I am content, I get lazy and don't push myself as much. I fall behind and then before I know it, I am in the danger zone again.

And I don't like being in the danger zone.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today's my 23rd birthday! The big plan is to get some work done and then go see MI:III with friends followed by massive amounts of joyesness.


Thanks in advance for any well-wishing!

I Am a Luckbox Part II

It is official. I am a luckbox. I have been going over my Poker Tracker stats (y'know, the program that I use to keep track of my...poker) and based on what I've read on poker forums, I have been running hot this year.

My NL rate over the 10K hands I've played this year is 16.69 Big Blinds/100 though that does include Short Handed and Long Handed.

My Limit rate over 17K hands is a bit more in line with 3.5 Big Bets/100, once again including SH and LH. For those laymen (or laywomen. Hi Mom!) a Big Bet is twice the Big Blind.

This of course doesn't include the Omaha that I've played nor the Stud. I should probably get Poker Tracker for each of those games, but I am in no hurry as I save all of my hand histories and can import those games at anytime.

Now people are going to come in and say that 10K is not statistically significant and that I need 50K or 100K hands to find my "True Win Rate" or to see if I am a "Real Winning Player".

To those people, I say Fuck Off.

Yes, I realize that against the average I am running well, especially at the stakes that I play. However, I think that I only need 5K hands to see if I am a winning player and I expect those number above will fluctuate. I have had some really bad days with some major numbers in the red (I have a 1 hour session where I was at -66 BB/100 at 30/60. Ouch.) But running bad or good can really only last for so long before, overall, I am catching an average amount of cards. I think that I am playing my cards very well and my above average winrate has to do more with the fact that I am playing so much better than I was when I started 2 years ago and even better than I was in January.

I maybe be a very lucky man, but you want to know why? Because I feel lucky. I am lucky to have a game that is a fierce competitor at the stakes I play. I am lucky to have a family that supports me and that I support in return (I have some cool graduation gift ideas for my brother who finishes High School in a few weeks). I am lucky to have a great set of friends with whom I can share my success in. Hell, I am lucky to be alive.

Sure my life isn't prefect, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Without struggles, how can I improve as player and as a person? The truth is that I make my own luck and with a positive perspective comes positive results.

Why Multi-Tabling Makes Bad Poker Players

I don't multi-table. At least not in the traditional sense of running 8 tables at once on Party Poker. I sometimes open up 2 tables at the same time, but they are always two different games (sometimes NL Holdem and Omaha, or SH Limit Holdem and Seven Card Stud). I think that I 3-tabled 10/20 on Party a few times just to see what it was like and try out the new software (the resizing thing is neat).

I have a "friend" who ALWAYS multi-tables. He datamines and now with a cracked version of Poker Tracker, will be able to bring up instant stats on his opponents. You should see all of the trouble he went through to try and crack Poker Tracker. Why someone with a 16K bankroll would go through so much trouble to avoid paying $55 is beyond me, but I digress.

Anyways, I play my friend a bit regularly since he has a car and I do not and there aren't any cardrooms in walking distance. He also has one occasion watched me play online. While he is a solid player, he has real trouble understanding the intricacies of the game. I will make a move or a bluff or just play hand in a way that baffles him. I try to explain it, but he just fails to grasp the psychology of poker and that is where I think that multi-tabling really hurts players.

Sure, I could go and multi-table 20/40, but my win rate would probably go from an average of 3.84 BB/100 to 1/100 and even though I could theoretically be making more from multi-tabling, I know I would get burnout because it would become very mechanical. There is nothing like making a great bluff at a Limit game because you are in your opponent's head. Sure Poker Tracker could tell me what an opponent would historically do, but people aren't static creatures and the best decision at the moment might be the wrong one over other time because that person's mood is different. Actively thinking about the game and making the adjustments for a table at that specific point in time is what keeps me excited and ready to play. I don't want Poker to seem like a regular 9-5 job, I want it to be something I enjoy.

I can't multitable 30/60 at the Bellagio and when I am ready for the Big Games, I will be a fierce competitor and not some schmoe who can only see the numbers and not the heart of the game.

P.S. I might be editing this for the next few days for clarity and content. So don't be surprised if I suddenly rewrite a paragraph.

A Change of Plans

Looks like Vegas is out of the question entirely. I am caught up in meetings for the next week. I was supposed to get all of my business done yesterday, but all that was really accomplished was me being told to go to another meeting.

Sigh...poker is so much more easier.

The pokering itself is going ok, making small gains...nothing terribly exciting. I guess the only interesting thing that happened was that I played in a Winner's Choice Tournament on Full Tilt Poker (I get to choose a $10,000 tournament to satellite to) and Huck Seed was on my right. Man did he play tight. It's funny, he went fromm 900 to 9,000 in 3 hands time just like he did when he was on my left in a HORSE tournament I played a month back. Add this to the fact that I've run a few sessions of 5/10 NL with him and we are starting to get a bit aquainted. His new avatar makes him look like a gnome, though.

Of course, I bust out after a blow up with Q10o against KK. Almost sucked out, had a decent amount of outs going to the river.

The New Hotness

Well, after running well, I decided to buy myself a present:



Yes, that is a MacBook Pro. And it is SWEEEEEEET! It is the cheapest model, but that's still nothing to sneeze at. The best part is that I can write it off a business expense on my taxes since one of my motivation's for buying this was to make it easier to do poker since I can load Windows XP on this thing and play at other sites besides Full Tilt.

What also let me not feel bad about buying this is that me playing some of the WSOP Circuit events at Ceasar's is probably not going to happen due to my schedule. The earliest I can make it to LV is the 9th and it might not be worth it to go through the hassle of making it to one of the later events, much less try and satellite at the last minute to the main event. I still hope to be in Vegas for my birthday, but I will probably not play that much poker, maybe try out the 30/60 games at the Bellagio.

AFTERWORD: Well, I randomly started to look at Tax information as a poker player and it looks like I might have some good things going for me. It looks like I can definently deduct my laptop and other "business expenses" so I guess that means free trips to Vegas! As long as I keep good records, I should "only" have to pay about 15% in taxes after deductions.

Moral of the story: keep good records!